What a Difference a Dog Makes...

Snowy and Luna meeting for the first time

In the delicate balance of relationships, I find it amazing how one soul, one individual being, can make such a difference. Immersed in a the daily struggle for survival and trying to get through the endless web of daily interactions and needs, I failed to fully understand the true impact that an unstable, hostile and aggressive being could affect on our family and our quality of life. Maybe it's easier to see now that we are removed from the situation. But it really makes me aware of how important the quality of our relationships is and how a single living being can completely warp the delicate emotional and physical health of the family as a whole and also for each member individually. That being can be a person or, in our case, an animal.

The story of our late dog, Udo, can be found here. All in all, our experience with Udo was rather traumatizing. The entire dynamic of our family was turned upside-down - Udo's personality and behavior negatively affecting the emotional state of our home (in a constant state of high alert and fear), stressing our interactions with each other and negatively impacting our physical and mental well-being. The real irony to that whole set up was that I initially hoped that getting the dog would have a healing and positive influence for my husband who has to endure a lot of stress with his work. Well, that sure didn't turn out so well.

I guess what's so amazing to me is this was "just a dog" and the negative impact was so profound for us. Seriously, we are still recovering from it. It makes me wonder just how terrible it must be to live with a person in one's household that emotionally takes everyone hostage. I really feel empathy for anyone in that situation - and I don't think it's necessarily uncommon here in the U.S. as there seems to be quite an abundance of emotional instability. I think the constant trying to improve the situation and hoping that things will get better is truly draining. And the altering of oneself to try to appease the other leaves one feeling like a shell of oneself. But, that's material for another post.

On the other end of the spectrum, a different relationship can bring forth a whole other dynamic - a positive one which ripples out like the waves from a stone thrown in water. Sometimes relationships can surprise you. We were sure surprised when we unintentionally adopted a dog named Snowy. Filled with trepidation and fear, unsure and wary, yet reluctantly willing to take the leap to give an older dog a new lease on life - well, boy did that end up bringing a ray of sunshine into our life. Totally unexpected.

This strange little white dog with her small narrow head, spotted inverting ears, curly tail exposing her undignified butt-hole, legs too short, body too long and a disproportionately big rib cage - such a funny and odd arrangement of features, but put all together make such a comical and endearing little character. Who knew that this old gal would bring laughter into our home? Who know that she would bring warm feelings of anticipation at the thought of  bringing her on errands and adventures? Who knew we could actually pet her and she would like it? Who knew that she would be the catalyst for healing?

I sure didn't. I thought she was just going to be a burden. That we were doing a good deed. Instead, she ended up doing the good deed. I feel so thankful to this sweet little soul - to have her in our lives. Now that she is here, it's like when you have a child - we couldn't imagine our lives without her.

Not that it's all perfect. Naaaaaaaw. But her idiosyncrasies pale in comparison to our late dog. I can deal with Snowy shredding kleenex boxes and paper goods and peeing on the floor when we leave her at home because she is quite literally pissed she couldn't go with us. We end up trying to bring her with us whenever we can as a result, to the point that my husband will even bring her to his office on the mornings we have school activities. She has us well-trained already.

So as a tribute to Snowy  (a.k.a."Granny") here are some things we find endearing about her:

• The Bump: For a while Snowy wouldn't eat her dog food. Now she'll eat it, but she'll often wait for an "upgrade" - that is for some of our food to be added to it. Why fly coach? At the table or while I am cooking, any one of us will feel this sudden bump of her needle nose into our legs - usually it's a "bump, bump"; that means, "Give me some." Well, it works. It's so cute we usually do "give her some."

• The Shadow: Snowy has been following me around every second of the day for the last few months. We should have called her Tinkerbell. If I leave the room she'll follow me. If she's asleep, she'll wake up and follow me. The poor thing feels so honor-bound to be by my side that she'll often be standing next to me, her eyes blinking and drooping with exhaustion, but still she's there. Maybe this will mellow out as time goes on and she feels more secure. We'll see. In any event, I feel like a have a personal body guard, a guardian angel or a groupie at all times. She even attends my childbirth education classes and manages to snore during relaxation. 

• The Lookout: Snowy loves car rides. Our late dog used to growl at the kids and not let them in the car and also throw up at least one time on any family car event. Snowy, conversely, loves the whole pack arrangement - all together in the car? Awesome! She positions herself propped up on the armrest between the driver and front passenger seat so she has the best view. She's on the Lookout. It's a serious job. Looking for...other dogs. Here's where her alter-ego steps in. She is very sweet and well behaved on walks and meeting with other dogs on the street. The car is another story. This is Granny's moment to let it rip. And her bark is so bizarre. It starts as a grumbly, gurgling type of sound and then escalates into the strangest sound I have ever heard. We usually end up laughing. It's a little embarrassing, too. She goes bonkers and sounds absolutely bizarre - people on the street turn their heads in astonishment. Some have even laughed. Hopefully, she doesn't take this to heart. Best of all, she doesn't barf in the car. 

• The Shredder: We love to take Snowy with us when we can. Sometimes she has to stay home for a short while by herself. Well, she clearly doesn't like this. We've come home to shredded board games (that she took out of the closet herself!), kleenex boxes, yoga mats. Sometimes she'll pee on the floor even though we've taken her out before we left on a walk to make sure her bladder is empty - somehow she manages to save something up. Now we'll "accidentally" leave an old box near the door when we leave; the shredded remains go into recycling. Have to figure out some kind of way to deal with the pissing problem. Sigh. 

• The Scratch: So speaking of pee, each time she takes care of her business (which is quite often as she like to leave her personal business cards for every dog to know she's been there) on her walks she scratches the ground afterwards like nobody's business. She puts chickens to shame. Rivets of dirt and grass go flying - I do not exaggerate. I wish I was. It's almost embarrassing. I have to walk with her on the curb side of the sidewalk so she doesn't destroy everyone's lawns. I also have to move fast when she poops, otherwise she becomes Stinkfoot. 

• The Trot: Snowy has a darling little walk - it's like a trot. She picks up her feet in the most endearing way with her tail and head held high (well, the head is variable as she also likes to smell all the good smells that are out there.) When another dog approaches she puffs up her body and prances even more. Show off!

• The Curl: She sleeps curled up with her nose tucked under her tail like a fox or a cat. I didn't know dogs slept like that - a tight little circle. Very cute. I bought a nice bed for her from L.L. Bean that is for small dogs and has padding around the sides. She loves it, but only at night - remember she is following me around all day catching cat naps here and there.

• The Snooze: Snowy will often be the last to arise in the morning. A dog that sleeps in. Amazing.

• The What?: Actually I think she sleeps in because she can't hear much. Initially we thought she didn't respond to "Snowy" when we called her because that might not have been her name. We've pretty much figured out she probably can't hear a damn thing. I think that is why she is often the last one up - she doesn't hear any of us getting up in the morning. When we arrive to pick her up at my husband's office, if she is asleep - she snoozes on as we open the door and step inches from her. I think this contributes to her following me around all the time and keeping me in sight, too, since she can't tell what's going on by sound. A little obstacle, but we still love her.

• The Jump: Somehow I have become her main bonding person (I think it's because I spend a lot of time in the kitchen.) When I go out and arrive home, boy is she excited. She jumps up about two to three feet in the air right beside me as she is beside herself with joy. It's astonishing. Never seen anything like it. Boing, boing. Go, Granny!

• The Mystery: So, speaking of jumping, Granny's pretty darn agile. She can leap into our cars including the truck which is pretty high. She leaps in the air. She can stand on her hind legs begging for treats. She can walk long hikes head of the pack, tail wagging, head held high. I can hardly keep up with her on walks - I come back sweaty. This seems mysterious for a dog whose paperwork we received from L.A. Love and Leashes identifies her birthday as the day before my first born meaning that she will supposedly be 14 years old at the end of this month. If Granny is really 14 and is this peppy and able, um, I want some of whatever she's been having all this time before she met us. Really, I don't know if I'll be in that good shape (if even alive) at age 98. Is Granny really a granny? We don't know - it's a mystery to be sure. 

The only thing we are sure of is that we made the right decision by taking a chance on her. This little Basenji, Jack Russell Terrier and What-Have-You mutt is our little snowy white angel, Heaven-sent to bring some laughter, love and light into our lives. Thank you, Snowy! What a difference a dog makes...